My Plan to make Panera Bread Company go bankrupt

For those of you who didn't know, Panera Bread has free drinks. That is, as long as you pay $10.99 a month, plus tax.

In February 2020, Panera launched the Coffee Club subscription. This allowed customers to get any size drip hot coffee or iced coffee every two hours. After gaining success, the bakery-cafe fast casual restaurant launched Unlimited Sip Club in May 2022.

This new and improved subscription includes any size hot and iced coffees, hot and iced teas, lemonade, Pepsi-Cola fountain drinks including Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, Sierra Mist, and their own Charged Lemonades. Customers are also allowed to get these self-service drinks every 2 hours.

I know what they're trying to do... bring in new customers, and trick them into buying high-priced food items while they are picking up their drinks. Nice try Panera, but you can't trick this frogul college student.

I joined the Unlimited Sip Club in June 2022. The first month of my subscription was free since I was a new customer. I utilized it sparingly during this time. When I had the choice of either canceling my subscription, or keeping my subscription and being charged, I decided to keep it. At this time, I started getting a large drink and a large drink only once a day. Sometimes, twice a day... Sometimes... three times a day.

What can I say? My local Panera is three minutes from where I live. I conveniently pass it on my way home from work, from the gym, from the grocery store, from a lot of places.

My lucrative plan

I want to squeeze every last drop out of this subscription, literally. My local Panera is open from 6am to 9pm. That's 15 hours of operation. The only logical explanation is to order 7 drinks a day, 7 days a week. If I were to get a Charged Lemonade (the most expensive drink) everytime, this would be a $229.81 weekly value, before tax. That's $919.24 a month, before tax.

I know what you're thinking... prices on drinks are adjusted to account for refills. Companies still make large profit margins off of fountain drinks. I'm doing the best I can. Fighting the good fight.

I need your help

I promise this isn't an advertisement. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I challenge you all to join the Unlimited Sip Club and order as many drinks as humanly possible and never order any other items.

With your help, Panera Bread Company could be bankrupt as soon 2024. Just because.

For more blogs like this and more,  follow the blogger (@DevinLange32) on Twitter. Make sure to check out the author’s podcast, If it has a Score (@IfItHasAScore) on Apple Podcasts & Spotify